How to Get a Resistant Toddler to Nap

34 Comments

  1. julie Frank

    My 29 month old jsut moved to a toddler bed cos she was jumping out the crib. She’s doing well at night but nap times are a disaster, she runs around the room and finds mischief however she can. Today she took off her pull up and pooped on the floor and on her drapes.
    I am at wits end – please help!
    shes always been a great sleeper and would nap two hours and now is not napping at all. Thankfully nights are going well

    Reply
    • Kathlene

      Hello Julie,

      I’m sorry to hear that your toddler’s transition to a toddler bed and nap times has been a struggle for you.

      We’re here to help! Our Big Kid Sleep Made Simple program is designed to assist toddlers who struggle with taking naps.

      Our program is comprehensive, science-backed, and based on positive parenting. It shows you how to get your 2.5-year-old happily sleeping in their bed all night and taking great naps.

      You can sign up here to learn more about what the program covers: https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/big-kid-sleep-training

      Please feel free to reach out if you have any other questions. We’re here to support your family!

      Best regards,
      Kathlene, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  2. Caroline Cole

    I realize this article is a couple years old but maybe it’s still monitored. We have been struggling with naptime for over 3 months with our now 18 month old. He dropped his second nap early (10 months) and now he won’t even take one. He definitely still needs it based on his behavior and moods. He sometimes lays there and tries but he can’t fall
    asleep for naptime. Then he just gets up and plays. He will play for up to two hours if I let him, but won’t sleep. He has blackout curtains, a sound machine, humidifier, stuffed animal friend (snuggly but not too distracting), and a fan. He sleeps fine at night except on days he hasn’t napped usually. We do a naptime routine including stories. We live on a farm. He plays outside every morning and runs around a lot. The problem is no that he isn’t tired enough to sleep. He will stay up for 13-14 hours straight just because he can. But it’s awful. I’m rather desperate as I am 7.5 months pregnant and don’t know how I’ll manage a newborn with our toddler terror too. Any advice is appreciated!

    Reply
    • Artemis

      Hi Caroline!

      First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! I’m sorry your toddler isn’t napping, it’s essential for our toddler to nap when we also have a newborn – you all need as much sleep as you can get!

      You’re doing great and you seem to be very knowledgeable regarding naps. However, sometimes we need a little structure and professional guidance to really make naps happen, and that’s exactly what we provide in our proven naps program here:
      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/naps-getting-downtime-in-the-daytime/

      We would love to see you in the naps program and get your 18 month old taking 1 glorious 2-3 hour nap each day.

      Can’t wait to see you there!
      Artemis, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  3. Sophie

    I have a toddler 26 month old, she would nap great all these years and was happy to. We would also wake her up 1.5 hours in order for her to sleep easy at night. One day a week ago she refuses to nap and cries that she doesnt want to nap. This has been going on for a week now, and I am trying every day same time to out her to nap but with no luck. What should I do
    At night she sleeps 11-12 hours usually
    What should i do?

    Reply
  4. Tais Cammerer

    Hello dear, my 28mo boy started to show signs of sleep regression around 23 months. Back then, desperate to make every nap happen, I totally messed up by: rocking him while seated, stroking his hair while in bed, etc etc back then I on 36w of my 3rd pregnancy and with much struggle, I managed to keep this madness for 4 months. But I can’t keep it up anymore, obviously. Do you think I can still recover the naps following your advices on this post, or is it too late? Many thanks in advance. I am crazy hunting for ideas on how to help him.

    Reply
  5. Padma

    Hi Team,

    I always love your advice and it has helped me on many different occasions. My 16 month old is a great sleeper at home: 11 hours at night and 2-2.5 (12pm-2.30pm) hours nap during the day. He is an independent sleeper in his crib and his room has blackout curtains, white noise and we still use a sleep sack. At home, I truly found the sweet spot to be 12pm, to allow for a solid 2-2.5 hours day sleep. The problem is that we started daycare and his naps are less than ideal. They sleep from 12.30-2.30, but realistically it will be 12.45pm by the time the kids are cleaned up, diapers changed and placed in their cots. The teacher has tried to place our son in the darkest corner possible however he is averaging a 35-45min nap. Speaking with the school they have asked us to see if we can move his nap time at home to start at 12.30 (which I am nervous to do. Any tips on this?) and also they have asked us to stop using the blackout curtains so he can adjust to sleeping with more light around. Again I am nervous to do this as I truly believe a cool, dark room helps promote a long nap stretch. I am also conscious of the fact that on non-daycare days, we are getting my son ‘back on track’ with his nap routine and catching up on his sleep. To be fair, this is week 3 of daycare (school had a few interruptions with closures due to covid-19) and now we are back at daycare and it is day2. I would appreciate any advice, without risking or modifying the ideal routine and environment at home, however, helping our son improve his sleep habits when not at home. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Padma,

      It is completely normal for children to not nap as well at daycare. Daycare is really out of your control. We suggest that parents put their LO’s to sleep earlier on daycare days to make up for the lack of day sleep! However, I wouldn’t change your at home routine at all. I would keep your nap time that is working well and your black out room. Your LO is REALLY going to need to sleep well on non-daycare days!!

      Best,
      Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  6. Martin McDermott

    Hi! We have 19 month old twins – and they could not be more different in terms of sleep. Our daughter has always been a better sleeper and is pretty text book – she gets 11.5 hours sleep per night and has a good 2 to 2.5 hours regular nap during the day.

    Our son, though, has always been a challenging sleeper and we’ve done a lot to try train him both for overnight sleep and then nap time. For the moment he does ok at night – normally sleeping from around 730 pm until about 7 am… though one in three nights he wakes earlier… anywhere from 5 am to 7 am.

    Nap time has been totally hit and miss though. We have tried to sleep train him and have gone through a full CIO cycle – we tried 70 minutes of full crying, took a break for 30 and then had another full 70 minutes. We tried this for a week and he just refused… it was heart breaking.

    Since then we’ve softened our approach and he managed to improve his sleep – or at least going for a nap. He has never slept for more than 45 minutes on a regular basis. But he still has weeks where he just won’t nap and then falls asleep for a catnap when we take him out in his stroller later in the day. We’re in a phase of this just now… he literally is falling asleep as we go through his routine and as soon as he is out in the crib he stands up and cries. We leave him for an hour to hope he’ll settle but he just doesn’t. As soon as he stands up, he’s not napping.

    So far, it hasn’t impacted too much on his night sleep – bar the 1 in 3 early rise days, but we’re really worried that this will come.

    I’m frustrated because I really feel we have tried everything – and lots of online articles and books talk about the same things… a dark room, sound machines, a consistent routine – sleep deprived parents already know all these things… we just want him to nap – it will be better for him and better for us… how can we help him to sleep consistently?

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Martin,

      This sounds super frustrating! Is your room 100% blacked out? Do you do any sugars (fruit, yogurts) before naps? Some babies are super sensitive to sugars and this can shorten a nap. I would leave these types of foods for after nap. Also, I would do an earlier bedtime if he is napping less than 1 hour during the day. Early bedtimes can actually lead to better sleep. If you are looking for more support from our team, please check out out naps program! We would love to help you 🙂

      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/naps-getting-downtime-in-the-daytime/

      Best,
      Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  7. Martin McDermott

    Hi! We have 19 month old twins – and they could not be more different in terms of sleep. Our daughter has always been a better sleeper and is pretty text book – she gets 11.5 hours sleep per night and has a good 2 to 2.5 hours regular nap during the day.

    Our son, though, has always been a challenging sleeper and we’ve done a lot to try train him both for overnight sleep and then nap time. For the moment he does ok at night – normally sleeping from around 730 pm until about 7 am… though one in three nights he wakes earlier… anywhere from 5 am to 7 am.

    Nap time has been totally hit and miss though. We have tried to sleep train him and have gone through a full CIO cycle – we tried 70 minutes of full crying, took a break for 30 and then had another full 70 minutes. We tried this for a week and he just refused… it was heart breaking.

    Since then we’ve softened our approach and he managed to improve his sleep – or at least going for a nap. He has never slept for more than 45 minutes on a regular basis. But he still has weeks where he just won’t nap and then falls asleep for a catnap when we take him out in his stroller later in the day. We’re in a phase of this just now… he literally is falling asleep as we go through his routine and as soon as he is out in the crib he stands up and cries. We leave him for an hour to hope he’ll settle but he just doesn’t. As soon as he stands up, he’s not napping.

    So far, it hasn’t impacted too much on his night sleep – bar the 1 in 3 early rise days, but we’re really worried that this will come.

    I’m frustrated because I really feel we have tried everything – and lots of online articles and books talk about the same things… a dark room, sound machines, a consistent routine – sleep deprived parents already know all these things… we just want him to nap – it will be better for him and better for us… how can we help him to do sleep consistently?

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Martin,

      This sounds super frustrating! Is your room 100% blacked out? Do you do any sugars (fruit, yogurts) before naps? Some babies are super sensitive to sugars and this can shorten a nap. I would leave these types of foods for after nap. Also, I would do an earlier bedtime if he is napping less than 1 hour during the day. Early bedtimes can actually lead to better sleep. If you are looking for more support from our team, please check out out naps program! We would love to help you 🙂

      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/naps-getting-downtime-in-the-daytime/

      Best,
      Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  8. Angela Aurelio

    My daughter is is 28 1/2 months old and has been regularly fighting her one nap off and on for months. Usually it just passes, but this time she is dead set on not sleeping. She dropped to one nap between 11-12 months even though I tried my hardest to keep it. She goes down on her own in her crib with consistent routines, blackout curtains and blinds, white noise, doesn’t climb out, sleeps from around 8 pm-6 am (when loud brother wakes her). She is very tired if she doesn’t nap and is also extremely strong willed. Quiet time is not enough. She doesn’t fall asleep in the car or while being held or rocked. She is miss independent. I really don’t wish her to lose this nap because I can tell she needs it. It is getting very frustrating and I am about to give in, but I know I will regret that. My son was a terrible napper compared to her, but he didn’t drop his nap until closer to 3- 3 1/2 and he was cranky for a year.

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Angela,

      Check out these guides for helpful tips! If she is a little over 2 years, old, I would try for a 2 hour nap. If she wakes up at 6am, I would attempt a nap from 11-1 with a 7pm bedtime. Having her fall asleep in her own crib with white noise and a blacked out room can really help!

      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/when-do-toddlers-stop-napping

      Best,
      Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  9. Kathryn Barnes

    My 2 year old is also refusing naps and just wanted to find out if they are screaming in their cots, how long should you wait until you go back in and should you immediately take them out to have quiet time or leave them in the cots?

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello,

      It sounds like your LO is going through the 2 year old sleep regression. It WILL pass and your LO still needs to continue to nap after it. I would aim for at least an hour of sleeping in the crib or “attempting” to sleep. If your LO still isn’t asleep, then take him/her out and do some quiet time for another 30 minutes and then move up your bedtime a little bit to compensate for lack of day sleep!

      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/when-do-toddlers-stop-napping

      Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  10. Casey

    Hi! My little boy is 19 months. I should have started much sooner with healthy naps but here we are. He sleeps great while I’m holding him but refuses to nap in his crib. Night time sleeping in his crib is great. Very defeated at this point. What should I do?

    Reply
    • Micaela

      Dear Casey, having some downtime time during the day is so important, I totally feel you 😉

      If your baby is falling asleep independently at bedtime and sleeping through the night, then it might be time for nap training. We do help clients every day with our program. You can check it out here https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/naps-getting-downtime-in-the-daytime/

      Hope this helps you <3
      Micaela BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  11. Simone

    I have twin girls who were on a very consistent nap schedule until 2-3 months ago when I took the crib rails off the bed. This transition was necessary because one of them was climbing out of her crib constantly. I was hoping after a few weeks, they would get over their newfound freedom of tearing up their room. I had to give up after they started climbing on top of their changing table. I resorted to walks in a stroller where they were falling asleep and transferring smoothly until recently.

    It seems like I need to try a new nap time routine in their room but I don’t feel like I can leave them in their room anymore for extended periods of time. Any suggestions?

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Simone,

      How old are your LO’s? We really recommend staying in the crib until at least 3 years of age, unless climbing out for safety reasons. It sounds like this is what was happening. Check out this guide for helpful tips to keep toddlers in a toddler bed!

      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/toddler-getting-out-of-bed-repeatedly-2

      Best,
      Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  12. Chrissy Barlahan

    How can I hire Jilly or someone directly? I am beyond desperate and my son doesn’t fall under the age bracket of the 21 day trading guide

    Reply
  13. Ashten Fraser

    Hi my LO is 13 months today and she has been struggling with napping for about a month and I’m losing my mind. She was sleep trained. Has 0 problems going to bed at night (7:30-8) and wakes up around 8-9am. But she refuses to go to sleep unless I rock her to sleep. I’ve done the reading a book, white noise, & black out curtains but when I put her in bed she just loses her mind screaming and crying. I really don’t know what to do. She will sleep for 1 to 2 hours if I rock her to sleep at 11am (she’s usually tired by then) but refuses to take a nap later in the day. I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
  14. jan

    Hi my daughter is 15 months and in the last week just started to do one long sleep stretch at night 5-6 hrs. After this she wakes regularly every 45min-2 hrs and at about 4:30 refuses to go back into the crib or sleep unless she is nursed and in bed with me. Up until recent she would wake 5-8 times a night starting at 7:30 pm. I am beyond exhausted.
    As for her napping, she always napped in motion 1.5 hrs. Since this is no longer possible as I am preparing her for the sitter, because I will head back to work. I have started to lie down beside and nurse her as this is the only way she will go down, she stays asleep for 45 min and awakes, if I catch her in time and nurse her she falls back asleep for another 45 min. I have tried to hold her and rock her, but the minute i place her down in the crib she wakes. I need help…. I have tried so many techniques and am so exhausted and lost.

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Jan, Thank you so much for your post! It sounds like we just need your LO to learn how to fall asleep independently without any sleep associations, such as nursing or motion. I would definitely recommend signing up for our FREE Exhausted Mom’s Survival Kit to start implementing some healthy sleep tips now. If you are interested in teaching your LO to fall asleep independently, definitely check out our 21 Days to Peace and Quiet program. We will teach you how to do this step by step, night by night. Happy to answer questions you may have! Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/exhausted-moms-survival-kit
      https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/21-days-to-peace-quiet-program

      Reply
  15. Tara

    Hi there,

    Our toddler is almost 23 months and has been resisting naps for the past two+ months (every since we have been on COVID lockdown — both parents working from home). Do you have any suggestions? She was nap and sleep trained prior to this. She has no issues going to sleep at night although some nights she will toss and turn longer than usual. There is rarely any night waking, and when there is, she can put herself back to sleep. We continue to follow our nap routine, and will take her out of her crib if she hasn’t fallen asleep after an hour. She will take her nap if she is held in our arms so we know that she is sleepy and does want to nap!

    Thank you!

    Reply
    • panagiota

      Hi there Tara

      A lot of kids have been affected by this lockdown. Keep being consistent and things will hopefully get back to normal. Have you tried the tips from this guide? And is she getting out enough, to play and burn the steam? Also, she might be a bit “scared” by this situation. When you put her in the crib try reassuring her that you’re there and everything is fine.

      Hope this helps. Panagiota, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  16. Jarrod Champion

    My toddler is two and a half…he used to nap great until a few months ago. After that he will only nap in the car. Trying to get him back into napping in bed. He doesn’t cry or fuss, he just won’t stay in bed. How long do we give it until we’re done trying for the day? And is it ok to take him in the car after trying for an alottrd amount of time?

    Reply
    • panagiota

      Hi there Jarrod

      We would suggest that not offering the car for naps is the best way to get him napping in his bed again. It may take a week of trying for naps in his bed, but once the car isn’t an option anymore then he should go back to napping in his bed. Try for 60 to 90 minutes every day at the same time to get him to nap. In addition to the tips in this guide. If he’s crying very hard I wouldn’t try for more than one hour.

      Please try these tips and let us know how things work out. Panagiota, BSMS Support Team

      Reply
  17. Michelle

    What if your toddler cries after you put them down? How long to you let them cry for? And for how many days? Thank you this was a great article by the way.

    Reply
    • Alyssa Taft

      Hello Michelle,

      If you prefer a step-by-step guide to get your LO sleeping through the night, then I highly recommend our program, 21 Days to Peace & Quiet. In this program we offer 4 step-by-step sleep training methods. You choose the one that feels best for your LO. We have super gentle & gradual all the way to quick & efficient. Our quick and efficient method is the check-in method and Jilly’s program offers a guide that tells you how many minutes crying is allowed before needing to check-in. Each step of the way you get advice based on your baby’s developmental stage, energy levels, and temperament. I used this program for my daughter and she was sleeping through the night within 5 days using the check-in method!

      You can find out more info on the program here: https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/21-days-to-peace-quiet-program

      When you are 100% consistent in following the steps of the program, your baby will be sleeping amazingly within 1-3 weeks. It depends on the method you choose as well as your baby’s adaptability. But we cover all of this in the program!

      Happy to answer any questions you have.

      Have a great day! / Alyssa, BSMS Support Team

      Reply

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