A toddler getting out of bed repeatedly during the night is a common frustration once you’ve transitioned out of the crib.
Your child’s sleep boundaries have disappeared. So, it’s normal for your toddler to wander out at bedtime or during the night to see what she may be missing. Just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating or tiring, though.
I always advise parents to leave their toddlers in the crib as long as possible, because once you remove their boundaries it can be difficult to keep them from roaming. There’s nothing wrong with a 3 or 4-year-old continuing to sleep in a crib if everyone’s happy.
Find out when and how to transition your toddler from a crib to big kid bed here.
Encouraging your toddler to stay in bed all night does take effort, but it can be done. As with all aspects of teaching children to sleep better, your biggest determiner of success is your consistency.
My new Big Kid Sleep Made Simple program is for toddlers and older children ages 2-6 years of age. It’s a comprehensive program that offers a choice of detailed step-by-step guides and plans as well as the option for support to get your toddler sleeping like a champ. I’ve got you covered, check it out!
This post may contain affiliate links.
It’s a good idea to move your child into a big kid bed if:
- You’re beginning nighttime potty training
- Your child verbalizes that she wants to transition (AND is at least 3 years old)
- There are repeated episodes of climbing out (this becomes a safety risk)
[Important Note:] If a new sibling is on the way & will need a crib… BUY ANOTHER ONE!
This will save you so much stress & headache, trust me.
Keep both children “contained” for sleep as long as possible.
Here are some proven tips to keep your toddler in bed at night.
Important Note: If your child is younger than 3 and climbs out of the crib once, I wouldn’t move her to a big kid bed right away.
Explain that it’s not safe and she may hurt herself. Tell her that Mommy will come to her if she calls out in the night. (And put pillows on the floor beside her crib.)
Maybe she’ll be “scared straight” for a while which buys you more time.
If she continues climbing out, then it’s time to transition out of the crib.
Nighttime roaming is a particularly stubborn phenomenon. With the right approach and a few weeks of consistency, though, your child will understand her new limits and stay in bed all night.
If you try an approach for only a few days or you occasionally give in and let her come into your bed, then the nighttime roaming will probably continue.
You should use these tips to keep your toddler in her bed during nap time too.
Find out more about how to get your toddler to nap well here.
How To Keep Your Toddler From Getting Out of Bed Repeatedly at Night
First: Investigate any Bedtime Fears
First, I recommend exploring the topic with your child during the day to find out if she’s afraid of anything at night.
If so, you can help calm her fears and reassure her that Mommy and Daddy are always nearby. Tell her that you’ll come to her in the night if she calls out, rather than her getting out of bed.
Let her know that there are no such thing as monsters in her closet (for example.) Have a look at her books and the TV shows she watches to make sure they aren’t contributing to her bedtime fears.
RELATED: How To Stop Your Toddler Waking at 5 am
Then: Let Your Child Know the New Nighttime Rules
Once the bedtime fears have been eased, it’s now time to inform your toddler about her “new rules” for wandering.
Make sure to have this conversation early in the day, rather than at bedtime when she is tired and could be cranky. Keep it lighthearted and upbeat.
Let her know that you have a very special treat waiting for her each morning, when she stays in her bed.
A sticker, stamp, animal mask, trip to the park, 3 M&Ms (or anything from the Dollar Store) is usually enough of an incentive to reduce nighttime roaming.
Make sure to talk excitedly about her “special treat” each night at bedtime. And gently remind her of your expectations.
Tell her what a big girl she is, and how proud you are of her. Remind her that (her friend or cousin) also sleeps in a big kid bed and doesn’t come out at night.
Let her know that IF she leaves her bedroom and comes to you, then you’re going to take her straight back to bed. Be loving, yet matter-of-fact.
Many parents find success installing a baby gate at the bedroom doorway. Sometimes it’s just too tempting to go to Mommy’s bedroom, so a barrier really helps! When she calls out from the baby gate, you simply hop over and put her back in her bed.
Every time you have to do this, remember to stay calm and boring. Say very little except a rehearsed line like “It’s time to go to sleep.”
Any extra attention or conversation (positive or negative) could reinforce her roaming, causing it to continue.
Also, you don’t have to run to her the minute you hear her calling from her doorway. The first night, wait 1 minute. The next night, wait 3 minutes. Add 1-2 minutes of waiting each night to encourage your child to go back to bed on her own. (And give lots of praise in the morning when she does!)
The next morning
Make sure to give lots of hugs, kisses and praise as her nighttime wandering improves. These are often more cherished than physical treats.
Don’t dwell on failures. If she had a bad night, just say “That’s ok, you can try again tonight. I know you can do it!”
With 2-3 weeks of consistency, your child’s nighttime roaming should greatly diminish. If you’ve been through all of the steps that I’ve outlined and your toddler is still struggling, please check out my new Big Kid Sleep Made Simple program. It’s unlike anything being offered and offers various approaches that fit your parenting style as well as your toddler’s unique personality. Check it out!
Frustrated mom, have 2 yr old 6 months, he started climbing out of crib at 18 months, been sleeping with us since n it’s affecting our marriage, not only that he kicks us n we don’t fit. He has toddler bed in a loft so there’s no door n it’s wide open. I want to train him soon what can I do.?
Hi,
I can totally understand your frustration! Sharing your bed (very uncomfortably) and having the effects spill into your marriage must be really hard.
I’m sure it doesn’t feel this way BUT it’s 100% possible to get your 2 year old easily sleeping in his own bed all night long! And still taking a nap everyday if he needs it.
It takes a combination of routine and consistency AND also positive, loving limits and a clear step-by-step proven plan. We have ALL of this (plus personal support) inside our toddler sleep program here: https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/big-kid-sleep-training
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and not sure how you can get your little guy (and YOU) sleeping great, I promise that we can help. We would love to, in fact!
Plus, this program covers any future sleep issues like potty training, nightmares, fear of the dark and so much more!
I hope you join us so we can help your whole family get the sleep you need.
All the best,
Jilly
hello my son is 20 months old . he’s very active and can climb out his crib . I’m trying to transition to open crib as at night time I will sometimes have to take him out of the crib he wants out to roam and it wakes me up he will eventually lay next to me and sleep and doesn’t usually bother me, he’s a very active kid doesn’t require attention all the time as he plays independently really good. but as I do this transition he won’t stop going to the door and crying and won’t lay down for more then a min I’m not sure what to do
Hi Ana,
Ah I completely feel your pain. Let’s help you with this transition! We would love to chat with you one on one:
https://programs.babysleepmadesimple.com/30-minutes-private-consultation-checkout/
Hope to talk soon!
Artemis, BSMS Support Team
My son is 2 yrs 6 mo. We transitioned him to a king bed at 2 due to him climbing out of the crib. We literally tried everything we knew to do to keep him in the crib. Here recently he climbed out 31 times in one night. It got so bad I decided to place an air mattress on the ground to catch him if he did fall, he has fallen out but never been hurt, he’s a bit of a hard head, bullet proof toddler type.
Anyway, he understands right from wrong and you mention to discuss with them certain sleep boundaries or incentives for staying in bed. That isn’t going to work for us, he knows what no means and when you say “cookie” he
runs to the counter where the cookie jar is. We have talked to him about staying in his bed as best we can knowing he may not fully understand what we are saying and what we mean for him to do. This isn’t and shouldn’t be about him getting out of bed and roaming the house at night. This is a sleep issue, something is keeping him and I think most of these
toddlers from getting restful sleep, waking up and getting out of bed. My wife and I are not proponents for children crawling into adult beds, nor have we ever laid down and slept with our children to get them to sleep, we
have 3 older children and they were never this bad. His nightly wake ups are becoming a big disruption for us, my wife and I dread night time. We discussed all of this with our pediatrician and she mentioned “night time
separation anxiety”. I’m not a fan of naming syndromes for everything but this may have merit. But for us this may not apply as our son does not fight going to bed he just doesn’t sleep for 9 to 10 hrs nightly. My wife and I feel he doesn’t need naps during the day. He attends daycare and they require him to lay down from 12 til 2, quite time whether they fall
asleep of not, they indicate on his daily care card he slept from 12 til 2, which I doubt really happens. We’ve asked if they could make
exception for our child and keep them up and we were told no. Anyway, I’m rambling as I sit on the floor outside my sons room at 3:15am waiting for him to get out of bed again🙄
Question! What can we do? We’ve tried everything and getting out of bed 20 plus times a night, calmly telling him to get back in bed and if he sleeps and stays in his bed the m&m fairy magically shows up in the morning doesn’t cut it with this dude. Something wakes him up and causes him to hunt us down, maybe the baby gate stacked two high will work, just hope it’s not a precursor to our toddler being used to bars and being locked up in a room, seems like prison to me!
Hi Brad,
Thanks for your message, and I’m sorry to hear that you and your wife are struggling with your son’s sleep. At your son’s age, he does not have the impulse control needed to stay in bed, which is why incentives do not work. He physically cannot stay in bed when he awakes at night which is why he’s roaming the house. Some children need to transition from their crib early (due to safety concerns), which can cause a disruption in sleep because they are still not old enough for the “rules” of a big bed. If there is not anything medically going on with our son that could cause him to wake up (sleep apnea, low ferritin levels, etc.), then it may just be behavioral and something that needs to be addressed through a detailed sleep plan. We have a Big Kid program that covers all of these issues in detail. Please see more information here: https://www.babysleepmadesimple.com/big-kid-sleep-training. If you have any questions, please let us know! Best, Ingrid BSMS Support Team
My son is about to turn two. He climbed out of his crib constantly. So we have made the transition. We finally got him to where we can shut his door and he will stay in bed. But come about 3/4 am he comes out into our living room to sleep in my recliner. Whenever we catch him, we put him back in his bed but he just comes out whenever for the rest of the night. What do I do?????
Hi Daley,
Sorry to hear this! It’s such a struggle when our little one’s get out of the bed at night, and of course concerning for us parents as well due to the safety issues. I hear you!
We would love to help you via a private consultation:
https://programs.babysleepmadesimple.com/30-minutes-private-consultation-checkout/
Alyssa, our sleep coach, will give you great advice on what to do.
You can book the consultation on the link I provided.
Let’s get you guys sleeping better!
Artemis, BSMS Support Team
Our 3 year old is now in a big kid bed because he kept climbing out of his crib literally at his 3rd birthday. Previously, he slept the entire night in his crib without a peep. Now, he’s out multiple times within the first couple of hours to go potty (he was trained at 2.5 and nights sort of followed along). We ensure he goes before bed and don’t rush him. We don’t cut liquids but definitely scale it back after dinner time. He 100% is doing this for attention because when we take him, he doesn’t even go.
He was waking his younger (8mo) brother at night and wandering around so we reversed his doorknob and lock him in 🙁 it’s for his safety as our bedroom is the loft above and we have stairs near our bathroom.
We’re at a loss of what to do! Help!
Hi Laura,
I’m so sorry to hear about this. However, you seem to be doing all you can and you’re doing well! Perhaps you just need some guidance, and we’re happy to help you.
The best place for us to help you is via a private consultation. We’ll go into detail and give you a plan of what to do. Here is the link:
https://programs.babysleepmadesimple.com/30-minutes-private-consultation-checkout/
Hoping to talk soon,
Artemis, BSMS Support Team
How do you deal with a 3 year old who thinks it’s funny and just keeps coming out of her crib and room during naps and nighttime . This can go on for 2 hours min … and we are loosing hope. May I add that she now wakes at 4:30 am and wakes the whole house. Please help
So sorry this is happening, Amanda.
I highly recommend you get a private consultation with our sleep consultant Alyssa below:
https://programs.babysleepmadesimple.com/30-minutes-private-consultation-checkout/
She will help you with this and get you back on track.
Artemis, BSMS Support Team
My daughter has started screaming for me in the middle of the night, she’s not yet 3 and has a speech delay so can’t or won’t tell us what’s wrong. Her crib’s on the landing just outside our bedroom. She has also started not being able to go to sleep herself (even though this hasn’t been an issue before). She’s really small for her age and still doesn’t understand getting under and pulling up blankets, so I don’t think she’s ready for a bed. She also wakes up way too early in the morning well before it gets light. But she’s also started falling out of the crib multiple times especially when trying to get her to go to sleep in the evening, every time I put her back and try not to get mad but it just doesn’t seem like it’s working. I don’t want to get in a habit of soothing her to sleep or cosleeping in the morning. Are there dome tips you can give? Thanks!
Hi Rhiannon,
So sorry to hear about your sleep situation. Does your little one fall out of the crib or climb out of the crib? I didn’t quite understand. We can help you with all of these issues and get your little one sleeping well, as soon as she can sleep safely inside the crib.
You can get back to us here:
support @ babysleepmadesimple . com
Artemis, BSMS Support Team
Recommending that a child who has outgrown the safety height for a crib is extremely irresponsible. You should transition to a bed BEFORE they start climbing out. I don’t understand why you are recommending that parents put their children at risk of falling and hurting themselves. I can’t believe what I am reading here.
Hi Sabrina,
I don’t recommend that a child who has outgrown the crib be forced to sleep there. I don’t say that anywhere in the article.
What I do say is “It’s a good idea to move your child into a big kid bed if there are repeated episodes of climbing out (this becomes a safety risk).” And I also say “If she continues climbing out, then it’s time to transition out of the crib.”
There are measures parents can take if their child climbs out just once to keep them safely sleeping there.
It’s not always possible to transition out of the crib before a child climbs out as this can happen at a variety of ages.
The crib is the SAFEST place for little ones to sleep. It keeps them safely contained while parents are sleeping and can’t supervise them. And as stated above, once children can climb out- they should be transitioned to a big kid bed.
What’s very dangerous is having young toddlers roaming around the house while parents are sleeping.
I appreciate your concern and feedback.
All the best,
Jilly
Very helpful
Hi Sharon,
We are so glad this resource was helpful for your family!
Best,
Alyssa, BSMS Support Team