What is sleep training and how do you do it?

Sleep training—it’s like the parenting Olympics of bedtime. You’re the coach, and your baby is the athlete, learning the art of sleeping independently. It’s not just about getting more sleep (although that’s a big win); it’s about helping your baby develop healthy sleep habits that last a lifetime.

Picture this: instead of midnight melodies of cries and endless rocking, you’re enjoying peaceful full nights of rest. That’s the dream, right? Sleep training is the roadmap to that dreamland. It’s about finding the right method that suits your family’s needs and your baby’s temperament.

But where do you even begin? Not to worry, this blog post walks you through everything you need to know before diving into the world of baby sleep training.

What you’ll learn:

• What is sleep training?
• When to start sleep training?
• How long does sleep training take?
• What is sleep training for newborns?
• What is sleep training for toddlers?
• What is sleep training for naps?
• What should you do before sleep training your baby?
• FAQs

What is sleep training?

Sleep training is the process of teaching your baby independent sleep habits so they can start sleeping through the night and taking long naps. It’s teaching your baby to fall asleep without your help and to self-settle back to sleep during the night. 

The reason why independent sleep is important is this – the way that your baby falls asleep at bedtime is the way they need to fall back to sleep each time they wake at night. 

We all wake throughout the night, even adults. Sometimes we fully wake up, have a sip of water, fix our pillow and fall back asleep. Other times we only half-wake, change positions and never remember it. It’s completely normal for everyone to wake throughout the night.

If your baby is nursed, rocked, bounced, held or patted to sleep at bedtime, they’re going to need your direct help each time they wake at night. As you know, this becomes exhausting for everyone. 

Here’s an example: At bedtime, you feed your baby to sleep in a rocking chair. Once he’s asleep, you place him in the crib and tiptoe out of the room. Your baby fell asleep in your arms, nursing in his bedroom. 

A few hours later, your baby wakes and his mental alarm bells start going off. He’s now in the crib, which is a different space from where he fell asleep. You are nowhere in sight, so that’s different too. And he doesn’t know how to fall back asleep without feeding. So he cries out for you. When you help your baby fall asleep, it becomes the only way they know how to fall asleep. 

Please know that you haven’t done anything wrong! Most of us parents have helped our babies fall asleep. It’s perfectly natural, especially in the early months. Helping your baby fall asleep isn’t a problem until it’s a problem. It only becomes an issue when your baby is waking every hour or two all night long and needing your direct help to fall back asleep, which exhausts everyone. 

Here’s another example: At bedtime you feed your baby, read a book together, place him in the crib awake, give him a kiss, turn off the light and walk out the door. He spends the next few minutes happily looking around before his eyelids get heavy and he falls asleep. Two hours later, he wakes and realizes he’s in the exact same environment that he was at bedtime. No mental alarm bells go off because nothing has changed. Plus, he knows how to fall back asleep on his own. He did it at bedtime. 

The way that your baby falls asleep at bedtime is the way they need to fall back asleep every time they wake at night.

If your baby wakes throughout the night, and you’re both exhausted, the best thing to do is teach them how to settle themself to sleep. When your baby learns this skill, they’ll automatically start sleeping long stretches and only wake at night when truly hungry. 

The concept is simple. But if you’ve never heard this before, it’s pretty eye-opening. And once you implement it, it’s truly life-changing.

When to start sleep training?

So, when is a good time to start sleep training? Independent sleep is possible from 5 months old (20 weeks from your baby’s due date if they were born early.) 

This means that if your baby is 5 months or older, they have the ability to learn to sleep independently. 

Some experts say that at 4 months of age babies can start sleep training, but I prefer to wait because babies go through a big brain development in their fourth month. (It’s what the 4 month sleep regression is all about.) Sleep patterns change at this age, so it’s best to wait to ensure your little one is past this development (and regression) before beginning sleep training. 

If your baby is younger than 5 months it’s never too early to get them on a healthy sleep routine. (You can find sleep guides for young babies on my blog here.)

How long does sleep training take?

How long it takes for your baby to be sleep trained depends on several factors including the sleep training method you choose, your baby’s personality and your consistency.

For parents wanting big results within a few days, a quick option like the Ferber method sleep training is a good option.

Sleep training methods where parents are more hands-on, like the Chair Method and Pick Up Put Down tend to take a bit longer (5-14 days) but are still very effective.

Ultra-gentle sleep training (like my Minimal Tears method) can take a few weeks for babies to be sleeping independently. That’s because we undo one sleep association at a time. 

Ultimately, for sleep training to be successful, parents need to be consistent with their sleep training plan and new routine. This is more likely to happen when parents can choose a sleep training method that’s well-suited for their baby.

Every baby is different, so what works well for one energetic baby may not be the best option for a different highly sensitive baby. 

Our baby sleep training program is unique because it gives parents options for different sleep training methods and helps them find the best method for their little one. (So does our program for 2-6 year olds here!)

What is sleep training for newborns? 

Sleep training for newborns focuses on introducing a gentle sleep routine and creating a sleep-friendly space for your baby. 

Traditional sleep training which focuses on getting babies sleeping independently is not something we recommend for newborns. 

As a newborn, your baby is not developmentally ready to learn to fall asleep independently, and it is totally normal and natural for them to rely on you to help them fall asleep at this age.

However, what you can do is start laying a foundation for healthy sleep by putting your newborn on a gentle sleep schedule and also follow the advice from our guide on improving your newborn’s sleep at night.

What is sleep training for toddlers? 

Sleep training for toddlers involves getting your child on a consistent sleep routine and guiding them to become an independent sleeper (as in they stay in their bed all night!) 

Even if your 2 or 3 year old has never slept on their own and you’re convinced that it’s impossible, I promise you that children of all ages can become happy and independent sleepers. 

For toddlers it’s so important to work on more than just what happens between bedtime and morning. We can’t expect a toddler to willingly follow a new sleep routine just because parents say so. Instead, we need to give your toddler some power and control over their routine and include lots of fun!

In our big kid sleep training program, we show parents how to help their 2-6 year old learn to love sleep! This involves meeting your child’s emotional needs, helping them feel safe and comfortable in their own bed and dealing with any challenges that come up including separation anxiety, bedtime fears and coming into your bed during the night.

What is sleep training for naps? 

Sleep training for naps is the process of teaching your little one to nap well, which means that they take long, restful naps everyday. 

Sleep training for naps involves using appropriate wake windows for your baby, to ensure that they’re ready for sleep, and teaching them to sleep independently. 

Having a baby that naps well everyday allows parents to have a well-deserved break during the day and be able to plan their days around a predictable schedule. Plus babies that nap well actually sleep better at night, too. A win all around!

Our sleep training for naps program guides parents through the steps for nap time sleep training, shows them how to manage nap transitions, and provides the perfect nap schedule for babies and toddlers.

What should you do before sleep training your baby?

Before you begin sleep training your baby or toddler, you should introduce healthy sleep habits. Sleep training goes much easier when your little one is well-rested and has a relaxing bedtime routine. 

Well-rested babies sleep better, day and night. And routines have been proven to help babies fall asleep quicker and sleep longer at night.

My Exhausted Mom’s Starter Kit walks you through each step of setting your baby or toddler up to sleep great at night. It has simple “baby steps” you can begin tonight. Doing these steps will improve your baby’s sleep before you even begin sleep training. Many parents tell me their baby’s night wakings decrease or they nap longer!

To get babies sleeping through the night, though, we typically have to do more.

Specifically, to ensure that your 5+ month old settles easily at bedtime and sleeps all night, they need to learn to sleep independently.

It sounds pretty simple, right? You just place your baby in the crib awake and let them fall asleep on their own.

“But… what if my baby cries?!”

This is the question on every parent’s mind. No parent walks into sleep training like “Alright, let’s cry it out!”

Instead, most parents (myself included) want to avoid crying or stressing their babies. The truth is that most babies will fuss, cry or resist sleep training, because it’s a change from their typical routine. How much they fuss, cry or resist depends on a few things like their temperament, the sleep training method, and parental consistency. 

Finding the best sleep training method for your baby is paramount and here at Baby Sleep Made Simple we are known for giving parents options when it comes to sleep training. We know that one sleep training method will not suit all babies. Instead sleep training needs to be customized for your baby or child’s age, personality and energy levels and your personal preferences. 

If you’re ready to jump straight in and get your little one sleeping amazingly starting tonight, come join us in our customizable sleep training program for babies (5-23 month olds) or toddlers (2-6 year olds). (Newborn parents up to 4 months old can get 1:1 consultations here.) 

If you’re not yet ready to begin, and want to learn more specifics, check out my blog post on sleep training methods here. 

FAQs